


juxtapose

by zhengting



Category: NINE PERCENT (Band), 偶像练习生 | Idol Producer (TV)
Genre: Character Study, Gen, idk what this is, kind of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-01
Updated: 2018-07-01
Packaged: 2019-05-31 23:22:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 773
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15129986
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zhengting/pseuds/zhengting
Summary: jux·ta·poseˈjəkstəˌpōz/verbverb: juxtapose; 3rd person present: juxtaposes; past tense: juxtaposed; past participle: juxtaposed; gerund or present participle: juxtaposing1.	place or deal with close together for contrasting effect.(or: where zhengting is old but childish and xukun is young but mature, and xukun doesn't know how to protect zhengting from life)





	juxtapose

Zhengting and Xukun they… don’t get along well. It’s not like they can’t get along at all, no, that’s not the case. It’s just that they don’t get along as well as Zhengting would like.

They tried to get along, once upon a time, but it didn’t really work out. There was always something that didn’t quite fit in between them no matter how hard they tried, so in the end they just gave up the idea of being anything more than acquaintances.

If you ask Zhengting, he’d say that they just weren’t meant to be. But if you ask Xukun, he’d tell you that there’s just such a fundamental difference between the two of them that it would be nearly impossible for them to truly accept each other.

To Zhengting, Xukun is his future. The way Xukun dominates when he’s on stage, presence so big it’s almost suffocating but so enticing it pulls everyone in so tightly and holds them there until 10 seconds after the lights go off.

It’s intoxicating, the effect Xukun has on his audience, and Zhengting always finds himself going back for more, whether glued to the TV screen backstage during Xukun’s performances or just quietly observing him during practice. Zhengting admires the way Xukun makes everything seem so _easy_ , hitting high notes so effortlessly and rapping so flawlessly and dancing so perfectly, and Zhengting can never get enough.

Watching Xukun is almost like an addiction, because even when Xukun’s just walking from the dorms to the cafeteria it’s graceful and beautiful, and the way he’s so quiet and reserved off the stage intrigues Zhengting.

Xukun doesn’t talk much, but in the rare occasions when he does talk to Zhengting, Zhengting is always left breathless afterwards because Xukun’s voice is simply heaven, like soft clouds and warm breeze and sweet fruit. Xukun is like a getaway, a mystic world of quiet sweetness and warm softness and Zhengting wants to stay forever.

But for Xukun, Zhengting is his past, his past that he doesn’t necessarily want to be reminded of. Zhengting is the naivety and innocence that was once part of him, and watching Zhengting always reminds him of the painful process of shedding his innocence, like someone forcefully pulling out his not-yet-ready baby teeth.

Zhengting wears his heart on his sleeve - He laughs loudly and cries openly, and he never holds back. He always answers interview questions so genuinely, like he’s chatting with a friend, even when it’s just part of the process, like questions about his ideal type, and Xukun wants to tell him that it’s fine to just bullshit the answer, because it’s just standard procedure and he doesn’t have to pour his heart out.

But Xukun doesn’t because... Zhengting is something else. The sparkle Zhengting gets in his eyes when he talks, even if it’s just about his ideal type, makes it so hard for Xukun to tell him to just stop being so open. To just stop being himself, because anything he does can be used against him.

Xukun thinks that Zhengting doesn’t think much before he acts either, and neither does he care about what he should care about. He’s such an amazing dancer but he trips over his own feet when he walks, his voice is so nice but he’s always ruining his vocal chords when he yells at his kids with maximum volume, and he’s _always_ thinking about other people first, even when he should be putting himself first. Years in the industry has taught Xukun that if he doesn’t put himself first, no one else would. That he can’t trust anyone to always have his back because they always put themselves first too.

And Zhengting, who, despite being super childish, cares for everyone so well, regardless of how sick and tired he is himself, makes Xukun want to look away because Zhengting is going to get hurt one day for being so innocent and Xukun doesn’t want to be there for that. Once was already enough for him, and he doesn’t need to see how the world will ruin an angel like Zhengting, because the aftermath will remind him every day of how selfish he has become, from the moment he decided to not protect Zhengting because he had already put himself first.

   

_“Kun!” Zhengting yells as he skips towards Xukun, always does, and Xukun looks up at the older with a tired smile, always does. And as Zhengting rambles on about his day from where he’s leaning against Xukun like he always does, Xukun just prays that the day Zhengting gets ruined will never come, like he always does._

**Author's Note:**

> inspired by all these times xukun disregards zhengting :<<
> 
> also idk if this really counts as character study but this was my first time trying to analyze characters like this so yay me? please give me some feedback :'))


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